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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29367303">State of Grace</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinakennard/pseuds/tinakennard'>tinakennard</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The L Word (TV 2004), The L Word: Generation Q (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:13:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,229</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29367303</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinakennard/pseuds/tinakennard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Carrie was never a thing? What if Tina was single when she flew out to LA? What if she took Bette up on her offer to stay while she was house hunting?</p><p>What if they fell in love all over again?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tina Kennard/Bette Porter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Introduction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Heya everybody!</p><p>Welcome to my first multi-chapter fic! I'm not entirely sure how long it's going to be yet, but I'm looking forward to where the journey takes us! I'll try to update at least every week, but I've got a hectic schedule so there may be times when I can't.</p><p>Anyway, I got this idea a while ago and I'm excited to finally bring it to life! I hope you all like it as much as I liked writing it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Well I started to look for a place so I could be here during the hiatus.”</p>
<p>Tina very suddenly had all of Bette’s attention. Tina was moving back. Her ex-wife, the love of her life, was moving back to Los Angeles. </p>
<p>“Wow! Well it…um… if you wanna… if you wanna stay here until you find someplace…” Bette trailed off, the words bursting out of her before she could think twice about it.</p>
<p>There was a silence for a moment, and Bette was sure she’d fucked up somehow, that asking that question had crossed one of those unspoken lines she seemed to keep stepping over where Tina was concerned. “I didn’t mean… It was just an offer, Tina, you don’t have to…”</p>
<p>“I’d like that, actually.” Tina, much like Bette, just blurted the words out. </p>
<p>Such was the way with them. All these years later and they still made each other tongue-tied. </p>
<p><em> She said yes, </em> Bette thought, a smile gracing her lips, lighting up the entire kitchen. <em> She said yes, she said yes, she said yes. </em> She could have danced, could have scooped Tina up in her arms and twirled her around the room, but right now, just knowing that she was going to have the blonde under the same roof again, it gave her hope.</p>
<p>She had tried, earnestly, to get over Tina, but it hadn’t worked. Bette had realized that no matter who else she might meet that intrigued her, Tina was it. Her one great love, the only woman she would ever give her whole self to.</p>
<p>It was why she kept their wedding ring around her neck, always hidden but ever-present. When Bette felt adrift, all she had to do was pull out that ring and she felt at home again, and that was just a ring. To have Tina herself here, under her roof, made her so excited, she could nearly scream.</p>
<p>However, after decades of practice keeping her cool under pressure, Bette kept it contained to her radiant smile. “Angie will be so excited!”</p>
<p>That made Tina smile as well, and Bette loved that about her, loved that she was so caring, so invested in their daughter’s well being. Tina had always been the more natural mother. They both loved Angelica, of course, and the girl knew that, but Bette and Angie clashed in a way that Tina and Angie did not.</p>
<p>Seeing the way Tina cared for Angie, so warm and gentle and kind, sent a pang of deep adoration for the blonde through her heart. </p>
<p>“I promise,” Tina’s hazel eyes were sincere and determined when they looked at Bette, “I’ll try not to be in your hair for too long.”</p>
<p>Yet again, the words welled up within Bette, but this time, when she spoke them, it wasn’t a violent blurting of words. No, rather, she was sure of her next words as sure as she’d been of anything in her life.</p>
<p>“It’s no trouble, Tina, really. You’re welcome for as long as you need.”</p>
<p>In fact, if Bette had her way, she’d stay forever.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Daylight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tina's first morning at the house. Cuteness ensues.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>All right! Here's the first official chapter! I found myself going "Awwww" so many times while writing this. I hope you get similar fuzzy feels!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Tina first woke up, she couldn’t remember where she was. Then, all of a sudden, it dawned on her. She slowly sat up in Bette’s guest room, hand brushing over the soft sheets. She always did have really great taste.</p>
<p>It was strange, being in a house that had Bette and Angie in it but that had never been hers. In a way, she was grateful. That house had too many memories, too many bad habits, but it also meant that here, she felt like what she was: an outsider. Family adjacent, maybe, but not home.</p>
<p>Determined, the blonde swung her legs out of bed, still in her pajamas as she walked out to the kitchen. Almost on instinct, she went to make the coffee. She couldn’t help a small smile at the fact that Bette <em>still</em> hadn’t gotten the hang of making it the night before. It comforted Tina to know some things never changed.</p>
<p>She made sure to add the exact amount of scoops she knew Bette liked, measuring them out with careful precision. She went out and grabbed the paper, placing it on the counter. She didn’t know exactly where Bette’s spot was in this kitchen. She hadn’t shared it with her, but she knew that Bette would want it. So there it was.</p>
<p>Cradling her own cup of coffee, Tina turned to take in her surroundings. The house was crisp and elegant, tastefully decorated, expensive without looking gaudy or ostentatious. In short, it was very Bette. She looked at the pictures on the walls, smiling at the ones of Angie. </p>
<p>Bette blew in a moment later, though she stopped short in the doorway at what she saw. Tina had her back to Bette. She was looking at something, one of the pictures in the kitchen. The house smelled like coffee and… <em>Oh</em>… Bette felt a tug at her heartstrings as she realized Tina had put the coffee on for her… for them. To share. Because they were in the same house now.</p>
<p>She knew she really shouldn’t, but she took a moment to admire her ex-wife from behind. Not just aesthetically, though Bette was of the opinion that Tina had aged gracefully, realistically but gently, almost. She was softer in a few places. It suited her. She was also just taking a moment to breathe in the sight of the love of her life, standing in her kitchen in her PJs again.</p>
<p>“Oh my God, Bette, you scared me! How long have you been standing there?”</p>
<p>Bette was snapped from her thoughts by Tina’s bright voice. “Hm? Oh… not long.” For a moment, Bette was grateful that her skin hid her blushing much more easily than Tina’s. Still, she could feel the heat on her face, knowing she’d been utterly caught, even if Tina didn’t realize it. “It’s just nice to see you like this… I mean…” She gestured vaguely, almost awkwardly, her heart pounding in her ears. <em>Damn this woman!</em> Bette was proud of her composure, of being the suave alpha lesbian who was always in control. Tina threw all of that to the wind. She undid every single one of Bette’s tightly wound protections and cast them aside like they were nothing. The moment Tina Kennard entered a room, Bette Porter turned to putty. Without fail. Every time.</p>
<p>And now she was smiling at her, that adorable smile that brought out the dimples in her chin. “What? Why are you smiling at me like that?”</p>
<p>Tina shook her head. “I’d just forgotten how adorable you are when you’re flustered.”</p>
<p>Bette’s eyes darted up to Tina’s. Was she… flirting with her? Or was she just being her usual, kind self, always finding something nice to say about someone despite how little they deserved it. And Bette certainly didn’t feel she deserved it.</p>
<p>She knew she was the reason things had gotten so bad between them. It was that old self-destructive streak flaring up again. She hadn’t handled the move to New York well. Being away from their friends, from Kit, from basically everything she’d relied on to keep her steady throughout the years, coupled with Tina, her compass, being very busy with her new job, Bette had fallen apart. She’d become sullen and angry, her anxiety manifesting itself in bursts of rage, and Tina had borne the brunt of it.</p>
<p>She didn’t blame her for leaving, not one bit, but oh, that didn’t ease the ache of wanting her back. It suddenly crossed her mind that perhaps this was a bad idea, that having Tina here, so close and yet so far, was going to be an exquisite kind of torture.</p>
<p>“I’m not adorable,” she finally managed. Tina just smiled more.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to pout at me, Bette. I’m just stating facts. I swear to God Angie gets the same exact look when she wants something from me.”</p>
<p>Bette quirked a brow. “You think? I always think she looks like you. She bats those big Kennard eyes at me and I can’t even look at her because I know if I do, I’ll cave.”</p>
<p>“Big Kennard eyes, huh?” Tina’s voice was soft and low, a tone Bette knew all too well. It was a tone that started a heat building in her core, a tone that promised something was coming. When the brunette raised her gaze, she found Tina right in front of her… And there were those eyes.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Bette was breathless, utterly still, afraid if she moved too fast, she would shatter the moment and Tina would remember all the ugliness between them and go running for the hills. Why was Tina talking like that? Didn’t she know she had an effect on Bette’s body? Her very being? </p>
<p>Trying to play it cool, Bette placed her hand on the counter. She and Tina both turned their gazes to their hands, fingers inches apart. Bette swore she heard Tina suck in a breath when she dared to graze her fingers with her own. And there it was, in that simple touch, that feeling of coming to life again, of touching the other half of your soul. <em>It would be a mistake</em>, Bette told herself, <em>but how can something that feels so right ever be a mistake?</em> “Tina…” Her name was a prayer, a question, and a warning all in one, asking, pleading for the blonde to give her some kind of sign this was okay. She needed Tina to do what she always did: Take her anxious soul and guide it home.</p>
<p>Tina took another step forward, and for Bette, that was enough. Her fingers tightened over the blonde’s, hand sliding over a hip. She was ready to pull her close, to claim those lips with her own again, to dive back into Tina and never look back.</p>
<p>Then Angie came down the stairs.</p>
<p>Bette loved her daughter more than anything in the world, but oh, if she wasn’t ready to kill her then and there.</p>
<p>Tina stepped away quickly, going to pour herself another cup of coffee. </p>
<p>Bette felt a little less animosity when she saw the wide smile on Angie’s face. She noted, not for the first time, that when Angie really, truly smiled, it lit up her whole face, just like Tina’s. Having them here, in the same room, Bette was able to see even more of their similarities, and damn, if it didn’t make her love them both a little harder for it.</p>
<p>“You know,” Angie’s tone was way too perky for this early in the morning, Bette thought, “I could get used to this.”</p>
<p>“Used to what, sweetheart?” Tina was always so gentle with Angie, so warm and maternal.</p>
<p>“You, here, in our house.” Angie stated it as if it was obvious, but Bette’s eyes darted over to Tina, trying to gauge her reaction. The fact of the matter was Bette could get used to it too, and that terrified her.</p>
<p>She saw something flicker across Tina’s face, so quickly she couldn’t quite identify it, but then the blonde was smiling and walking over to wrap her arm around Angie and place a kiss on the top of her head.</p>
<p>“Well, that’s good, because I’ve heard the housing market is terrible right now, so I might be here for a while.” Tina’s eyes raised to Bette’s, and in that moment, the brunette registered something she’d seen when Angie first walked in. Pink, inching its way up Tina’s face, spreading across both cheeks. That coupled with the way her eyes darted away when Bette tried to catch them… Bette knew Tina. She knew when she was sad, when she was angry, and when she had a crush. Somehow, in the spell of her first morning back, Tina had felt that little spark between them too. Bette wasn’t the only one thinking about it. <em>Thank God.</em></p>
<p>They still had a long way to go, and she knew finding their way back to each other wouldn’t be easy, but that blush, that hint of color on Tina’s cheeks, it gave Bette hope, and that was more than she’d had in a long time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tada!</p>
<p>And we're off to the races. I really hope you guys enjoyed it! I'm going to do my best to make this fic as fluffy as possible. There might be an angst point here and there, but for the most part just good old-fashioned Tibette sexual tension and love.</p>
<p>Also, there's probably gonna be sexytimes later, hence the rating. Because Tibette.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Gold Rush</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Angie puts some things into perspective. Tina takes action, but with Bette still very much in the spotlight, will they be able to enjoy it?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heya everybody!</p>
<p>Thanks so much for all the great feedback on the beginning of this adventure with them! I have the first 6 chapters planned out. Not entirely sure how many there are going to be yet, but I've got the next one for you now!</p>
<p>This chapter was a lot of fun to write. Please don't kill me for the ending I promise it's just for spice! 90% of the chapter is fluffy goodness I swear!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tina waited with bated breath outside Angie’s school. Most moms dreaded the pick-up and drop-off routine, but Tina was utterly thrilled. She’d missed out on so much these past few years, to the point where even the small, mundane realities of being a mom felt like gifts.</span>
</p>
<p>She was grinning from ear to ear when Angie came out, causing the teen to roll her eyes, but Tina saw the smile in them, and it warmed her from the inside out. She’d been so afraid that Angelica would hate her, that she wouldn’t understand, that there would be this chasm between them they could never cross again, but if the smile in Angie’s eyes was any indication, the bridge across that chasm was sturdy and strong enough to stand for a thousand years.</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Mom,” the teen greeted, tossing her backpack in the car and climbing into the passenger seat. “Jordi, c’mere!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina looked over with curiosity at her daughter’s girlfriend. They had talked on FaceTime a couple of times, but they’d never met face to face. To her surprise, even Jordi seemed happy to see her. “Hi Ms. Kennard,” the girl murmured, jogging over to the car with a slight wave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Jordi! It’s nice to finally meet you in person! I think you’re even prettier in real life!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Angie rolled her eyes. “Ugh, Mom!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? I meant it in a good way. Sorry Jordi, I didn’t mean to offend you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no offense taken, Ms. Kennard, I appreciate it, actually. So there.” She made a face at Angie, who made one back. The girls descended into giggles and Tina’s heart beat a little bit faster. It was still strange that her little girl was old enough to be dating already. It caused a bit of a drop in her stomach, but hearing that laugh made it all worth the discomfort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should come over for dinner sometime,” Tina insisted, “I’m staying at Angie’s mom’s house until I can find a place of my own so… it would be a great chance for us to all get to know each other, I think.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jordi quirked a brow at Angie, whose grin only widened as she nodded. “Sure, yeah. That sounds great. Just have Angie call me or something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.” Tina gave a wave. Jordi returned it and squeezed Angie’s hand before walking away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They got about halfway home before Angie dropped the bomb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So are you and B getting back together?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina stopped a little too suddenly, wide eyes turning to look at the critical gaze of her daughter. That look… Yet another thing Angie got from Bette. It was funny. Tina may have been the mother who contributed her genetics, and yet, in Tina’s eyes, Angie was Bette’s, through and through. She had her attitude, her determination, and certainly her stubborn streak. She also had the ability to stare directly into Tina’s soul without even trying, a talent she was taking full advantage of now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina swallowed hard. Things had been charged in the house since she moved in. She could feel it. It was reminiscent of all those years ago when she and Bette had been dancing around each other, knowing there was still an attraction there, but with the complication of Jodi in the way. Whenever she and Bette were in a room together, the air filled with electricity, lightning waiting to strike. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her hands tightened and loosened in a never-ending pattern on the steering wheel. Finally, she changed a look over at Angie again. The teenager was still waiting with her arms crossed. “Well? Are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” How could she say: </span>
  <em>
    <span>I want to, but I’m scared your mom won’t take me back. Or worse, that she will and we’ll screw it up and hurt you all over again.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Would it be all right with you if we did?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Angie’s face lit up. “I knew it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Woah woah, hey, knew what? That wasn’t a yes! I was just curious, you know… if it did happen… somewhere down the line or something…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom, please. You two have been making heart eyes at each other ever since you moved in. You could cut the sexual tension with a butter knife. For real.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angelica!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?! It’s true!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t talk about our… sexual tension.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well to answer your question then… No. I wouldn’t mind if you got back together. Honestly, I’ve kind of been hoping for it ever since you got divorced. I just didn’t think it was actually possible until recently.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina hesitantly met her daughter’s eyes. “You think… you think it’s possible now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um… duh. You guys have always loved each other. Always. I know I complained about it sometimes when I was little, but that’s what kids do, right? One of you just has to be brave enough to talk to the other, and I think we both know that’s not going to be B.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina laughed softly and reached over to stroke her daughter’s hair. “When did you get so smart, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got it from my mom.” The two laughed and soon, Tina was pulling up to the house. She watched Angie bound up the stairs, probably going to call Jordi. She made her way into the kitchen and was surprised to see Bette sitting at the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was wearing her glasses, Tina noted, and it was unfair how sexy they made her look. She knew Bette hated them, felt they were yet another sign, along with the hot flashes and the mood swings, that she was getting older, but Tina thought they made her look distinguished in a sexy professor kind of way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The brunette looked up when Tina placed her keys on the counter. She pulled her glasses from her face and brushed her hair out of her eyes. “Hey Tee.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina felt her knees go weak at the nickname. “Hey.” Angie’s words were playing over and over in her head. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You two have been making heart eyes at each other ever since you moved in. You could cut the sexual tension with a butter knife... You guys have always loved each other. Always… One of you just has to be brave enough to talk to the other… </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Bette?” She spoke before she could stop herself, before she could even think it through completely. She crossed to the table and sat in the chair next to her ex-wife. A slightly trembling hand reached out to take Bette’s, squeezing softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette looked at their entwined hands and then back to Tina, blinking as if she was trying to wake herself from a dream. “Tina? Is everything okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah… yeah, it’s just… I was wondering if maybe you’d want to go out for dinner tonight, just you and me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette’s brows skyrocketed. She was silent for a long moment, something that Tina was not remotely used to. Finally, the brunette managed to blurt out, “You mean like a date?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina cleared her throat. How was it that it was so dry all of a sudden? “I… If you’d be willing to call it that, yeah… I think so.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Bette Porter smiled, really smiled, genuinely smiled, it lit up the whole room. Tina had always wanted to bathe in the light of that smile, basking in it and then ensuring it was repeated as often as possible. That was how Bette smiled now, like her entire soul was in it. After all, Bette Porter never did anything halfway. “You really mean it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Tina laughed nervously. “Of course I do. You think I wouldn’t?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just making sure…” Tina’s heart plunged a little at seeing Bette so unsure of herself. She couldn’t blame her, not completely. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey…” The blonde cupped her ex-wife’s face and gave her a gentle smile. “I’d really like to take you out somewhere, Bette, without expectation or ambition, just… the two of us, together, reconnecting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Closing the file she’d been reading, Bette turned to face Tina more fully. “Well in that case, can you give me an hour? I’ve got a hot date tonight and I want to look my best.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina’s eyes brightened, the dimples in her chin showing when she smiled. “Yeah… I could probably use that hour too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay… So… Meet you back down here in an hour?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An hour and five minutes later, Tina finally determined that her makeup was good enough. She was finding it harder to be satisfied these days with always another wrinkle to cover up or grey hairs to dye. She’d had some fun experimenting with her hair color since the divorce. She’d gone red for a while, back to blonde, and seemed to have settled somewhere in between, blonde with a hint of strawberry, perhaps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She felt her age and she hated it, especially now that she was doing this. Her stomach was in knots in a way that it hadn’t been since… Well, since her wedding day. Funny, how no matter how desperately she’d tried to move on, Bette still gave her those butterflies.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She’d opted for black dress pants and a maroon top, modest but just a bit revealing. Tina had never loved her body, but now, as the weight became harder to lose and her crewmates insisted on feeding her poutine every time she was in Toronto, she was feeling a bit more self-conscious about it. All the same, she wanted to be at least a little sexy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She checked her watch and then she heard footsteps on the stairs. She looked up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her breath stopped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette stood in a stunning dress, just a shade or two lighter than Tina’s shirt (how in sync they were, even now). It fell to just below her knees, her hair falling in soft curls around her shoulders. Tina had always loved Bette’s hair curly. Her heart beat just a little bit harder to think… <em>Did she do that for me?</em> She was pretty sure her hair was straight an hour ago.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow,” the blonde breathed, eyes drinking in every inch of her ex-wife. It wasn’t like her to stare so openly, but with Bette, she’d never been able to help herself. A hundred different sappy art puns flew through Tina’s head, but instead of saying any of them, she just settled on, “You look beautiful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So do you.” Bette’s voice was like honey down Tina’s spine, planting a warmth there Tina knew would linger long after they’d parted ways.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, really Bette. I… I feel kind of underdressed now. Maybe I should go ch-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tee.” The brunette’s voice was firm, and all of a sudden, she was standing right in front of her, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Wide hazel eyes took in the face she knew so well. Bette smiled sincerely, lovingly. She seemed to catch herself standing too close (or not close enough) and moved away a little, fingers running down Tina’s arm to squeeze her hand. “You look perfect.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina’s eyes fluttered a little. Bette still had it, that was for sure, was still able to make her melt, physically and emotionally, with a few choice words and a simple touch. “Thanks…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shall we?” Bette opened the front door, hand gently pressing to the small of Tina’s back as she guided her towards her car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who said we’re taking your car?” Tina’s smile was flirty, playful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette actually cracked a smile. “Me. You gonna fight me on it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe, what if I did?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“HEY!” Angie’s voice bellowed from the window, her head poking out. Bette and Tina could see her grin from the ground. “Don’t stay out too late! And no funny business with each other!” Before either of them could respond, she closed the window, leaving Tina to let out an indignant little laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That girl,” Bette murmured, shaking her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina chuckled as she settled into the passenger seat next to her. “Well, she is your daughter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, she’s my daughter when she’s being a brat?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina held up her hands. “You said it, not me.” It was nice, she thought, to be able to laugh like this with Bette again, to tease each other like they were an old married couple. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Which you would be if you hadn’t fucked it all up, Tina.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But no, Tina knew that she’d needed some time and space. She regretted the way she’d gone about it, but not what she’d actually done. Still, she knew that, as the instigator of the divorce, putting them back together was her cross to bear. She was determined to bear it with grace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They arrived at the restaurant a few minutes later. Bette handed her keys to the valet and took Tina’s hand, helping her out of the car. “Thank you… My knight in shining armor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmm… more like your knight in a dress and stilettos.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s even better.” As if it was the most natural thing in the world, their hands found each other. It wasn’t even clear who took whose, just that their fingers found their way together. As they approached the host, Bette pulled Tina a little closer. She didn’t think Bette meant to do it. It was just instinct. They just felt home this close to each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Party of two for Kennard.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina looked over in surprise when Bette spoke her name. “When did you…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, you said you wanted to go somewhere nice and I wanted to make sure we were able to get a table so I called while we were getting ready.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you put it under my name?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette shrugged. “Thought we’d shake things up a little.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina snuck a glance at Bette, a glance that became a stare and a stare that only became more prominent as they took their seats across from each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What,” the brunette questioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just… you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve changed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I haven’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have. I like it.” Tina’s eyes were kind as she smiled at Bette, hand reaching across the table to take the other’s again, already missing the contact. Bette’s eyes darted suddenly over to Tina’s, a bit wide and wild. “It was nice… you making the reservation under my name. I really appreciate it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette’s anxious features smoothed out into a smile. Tina loved the ways her eyes crinkled when she did so, those little wrinkles around them only making her more attractive in Tina's eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All in all, they had a pretty nice meal. Bette ordered a bottle of wine for them to split and the food, as always, was to die for. For those few moments, things felt almost normal between them again. Tina couldn’t remember the last time they’d smiled, never mind laughed together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then it all went south.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It started innocently enough, with a man in a suit approaching the table and tapping Bette on the shoulder. Tina wasn’t too shocked. She was running for mayor after all. It only made sense someone would want to talk to her. She was ready to bask in watching Bette the politician, a game she knew her to be a pro at, but it very quickly became apparent that this wasn’t a constituent with a question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was an ambush.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Tina could so much as blink, a thousand flashes blinded her. She’d been to movie premieres. She’d encountered paparazzi, but no one really cared about the producers at those sorts of things. This was a whole other level. Questions roared in her ears, questions Tina couldn’t even understand. She caught the name Adams and the word ‘affair’. But it was one male reporter’s question that finally made her snap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ms. Porter, do you worry what it says about your image that you’re being seen out with your ex-wife mere days after the incident with Tyler Adams that nearly ended your campaign? Are you worried that the people of Los Angeles will think you’re sleeping around?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina stood quickly, hands slamming down on the table. Bette jumped, blinking up at the blonde in surprise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know what,” Tina growled, “That question is just not okay on so many levels! First of all, mine and Bette’s relationship is absolutely none of your business. Secondly, this isn’t a campaign event so you have no right to be swarming her like this. Thirdly, I find it absolutely revolting that you would ask the gay, female candidate a question like that, but I’ll bet you haven’t asked Jeff Milner anything close to it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The reporter sputtered. “I…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, you don’t get to speak again.” Tina stood, grabbing Bette’s hand and tugging roughly. The brunette just followed, somewhat dumbfounded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The very apologetic manager offered to comp their meal, obviously guilty for not spotting the cameras sooner. Tina gave a grateful nod and quickly ushered Bette back into the car, this time with Tina driving. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She circled around the block a couple of times and took some wrong turns, just to make sure no one was following them. Bette, for her part, had been mostly quiet since their escape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Tina pulled into the driveway and stopped the car, she turned her head, brows knotted in concern. Bette was quiet again. “Bette, are you…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re incredible, you know that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words caught Tina off guard. The look that accompanied them made her throat go dry. “I didn’t… I just thought it was ridiculous that he asked a question like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, it was, but I’ve never seen you go off on someone like that. Well… except for your asshole bosses that one time, but they really deserved it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So did that reporter,” Tina insisted, “He was being a misogynistic, homophobic asshole, and he was degrading you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t think I’ve done that all on my own? You know… sleeping with a married woman? I haven’t exactly learned from the sins of my past, now, have I?” Bette’s eyes slid over towards Tina’s. When they met, Tina gave her a soft smile. Her fingers reached out and gently skimmed over the skin of her cheek. Bette leaned into it, eyes fluttering shut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re trying, Bette. And you’ve come a long way. Even if you can’t see that, I can. Felicity was a bad decision, sure, but you recognize that. A younger Bette.. I don’t know that she would have. That’s progress.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, it is.” Tina sounded so sure, so confident, so forgiving, that Bette couldn’t help but stare at her. How did this woman keep coming back into her life exactly when she needed her? Her hand reached up to grasp the one caressing her cheek. Turning into the touch, Bette’s lips pressed tenderly to the palm of Tina’s hand. Tina smiled, though she quickly let out a gasp as Bette’s lips kept pressing to her skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She got to the pulse point in Tina’s wrist before neither of them could wait any longer. Bette’s hand slid around Tina’s neck, pulling her in for a hungry kiss. Tina accepted with a soft sigh, fingers curling into the material of Bette’s dress. Passion poured between them through that sense of coming home. Bette’s tongue lightly traced Tina’s lips, not insistent, just reverent, as if she was savoring the very essence of her. Tina moved closer, kissing her a little bit harder as her hand slid into those curls she loved so much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette let out a little whimper at the gesture, one that caused Tina to pull back just a little. For a moment, they just stared at each other, assessing, wondering, trying to figure out where the line was or if it was just obliterated completely. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Coming to a silent understanding, they dove back in for more. They traded heated kisses back and forth, going from slow and sweet to messy and passionate and back again. Tina had always hated when movie scripts mentioned the two leads kissing so much their lips were chapped, finding it utterly ridiculous, but Bette seemed determined to make her eat her words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tina…” Bette gasped her name and Tina could hear the desire in it. She’d missed that. Her eyes slowly opened and she found the love of her life looking back at her, pupils blown wide, chest rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bette… Are you sure?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The brunette nodded, moving to kiss Tina’s hand a final time. “I’m absolutely positive. Are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina smiled, offering a nod in return. Gleefully, they both almost sprang from the car. Stopping in front of it, Bette wrapped her arms around Tina’s waist, pulling her close and kissing her again. Just because. Tina smiled against her lips. Her arms wrapped around her neck, and though she knew she’d be sore as hell in the morning, she was practically ready to beg Bette to just take her then and there. She needed to feel close to her, to feel her skin against her own, to cement this new beginning they’d found in passion and love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bette?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two sprang apart at the foreign voice. For a blind moment, Tina thought it was Angie, a deep embarrassment running through her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the figure stepped out of the shadows and into the light, Tina found herself thinking that would have been preferable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette’s eyes widened, her head tilting to the side in that way Tina knew it did when she was genuinely confused. Her arms crossed over her chest and she quickly wiped at her smudged lipstick. Tina watched the warmth drain from Bette's features. Her walls were going back up, the defenses she’d worked all night to undo locking her heart away again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wanted to scream, wanted to hit something, wanted to tell the woman to get the hell off her property. But this wasn’t her property, it was Bette’s, and Tina was dismayed to see the woman she loved take a step closer to the other, voice a low whisper as she spoke her name.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Felicity?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Like I said, please don't murder me! Felicity won't be around long. But it'll give us an opportunity to see jealous!Tina, and who knows what might come of that?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Keys to Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bette decides what to do with Felicity. She and Tina come to an agreement. Tina seeks advice from her friends.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heya everyone! Here's an update for you! Sorry this one took a little longer. I'm entering a crazy couple of weeks at school and I'm having a couple of complications with my illness so it took a little longer to write.</p><p>This is a bit of a filler chapter, but it's still got plenty of Tibette goodness in it!</p><p>Hope you all enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Felicity?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette blinked in surprise. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. She and Tina had been right on track, falling back into each other the way they always did. Leave it to Felicity to ruin everything. Again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay, so maybe that wasn’t fair. Felicity had been there for Bette when she really needed her, but she was also a terrible idea. She had been at the time and she was now. She was a mistake born out of Bette’s self-destructive tendencies. She’d let herself have Felicity because she was unattainable. Bette knew they couldn’t have forever so Felicity was safe. At least… she had been until she got too attached. Then she’d just fed that part of Bette that was always teetering on the edge, daring herself to fall off. And yet somehow, she was surprised every time she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>No more.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina giving her a chance tonight had been unexpected to say the least. She knew her ex-wife needed a sign, needed to know that Bette had really, truly grown. The brunette wanted to give her that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felicity, however, had other plans. She slid up to Bette with those wide, emotional eyes, the ones that had first lured Bette in. Bette felt trapped. On the one hand, Felicity was looking at her like they were the only two people there… but they weren’t, and Bette could practically feel Tina’s tension radiating from beside her. It was a sense that had taken her many years to hone, but now that she had, it was hard to miss the way the blonde’s fingers curled inwards, clenched so tight Bette knew her nails must be leaving marks, the tightness in her jaw, the slight curl of her lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina Kennard was fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>pissed</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bette I really need to talk to you.” Felicity’s hand landed softly on her arm, and for a moment, just a moment, Bette looked away. She heard a scoff from Tina’s general direction and looked over just in time to see her storm into the house and slam the door. Felicity, barely phased, ran her fingers down her arm. “Look I just wanted to say that I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t.” Bette finally met Felicity’s gaze. The other woman took a small step back, caught off guard by the ferocity in Bette’s tone. “You have no right to just show up here out of the blue, Felicity.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My </span>
  <em>
    <span>daughter</span>
  </em>
  <span> lives here, and I specifically remember telling you that I didn’t want this… whatever it was between us to come near my kid!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but I just… I heard what Tyler did and I wanted to…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that is precisely why this is the last place you should be right now! I barely came out of that with my campaign intact and I still have reporters staking me out just waiting for me to slip up again!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. I just wanted to apologize.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really want to make it up to me, Felicity? Respect me when I tell you that it’s over, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That clearly stung, but the woman seemed appropriately cowed. As soon as she knew she’d been heard, Bette made her way into the house. She didn't even wait for Felicity to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked through the kitchen, head turning back and forth, searching desperately for Tina. “Tee?” She didn’t find her in the kitchen or the living room, which left only one place she would probably be. Tentatively, Bette approached the closed guest room door. The fact of the matter was that while Bette pretended to the world that she was so confident and in control, Tina had her wrapped around her finger. And when Tina was angry? Well, not many things scared Bette Porter, but an angry Tina? That would do the trick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lifted her hand, hesitating for just a second before knocking lightly on the door. Funny, to be treading so lightly in her own home, but really, when she bought this house, she’d done it hoping that one day it would be Tina’s house too. She still slept on one side of the bed, still reached over to the one that had been Tina’s in the middle of the night, and when Tina opened the guest room door, Bette was surprised by how strong the desire was to hold her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, at the moment, Tina probably would have slapped her for her trouble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tina, I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want, Bette?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though she’d expected it, Bette was thrown off by the amount of venom in Tina’s voice. She opened her mouth. She could feel her haunches going up, her entire body preparing for a catfight, but then she saw how red Tina’s eyes were and she went from defensive to protective in an instant. “Tee? Have you been crying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina turned away, throat moving as she attempted to keep her tears down. “Did you need something or can I go to bed in peace?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey…” Bette caught Tina’s wrist. Her touch was gentle but insistent. Suddenly, flashes of memory, fragments of sensation filled her mind, weaving together a tapestry of falling and feeling in love all over again. Her touch on Tina’s wrist, tugging her close, and as the past flooded her senses, Bette found herself mirroring those movements in the present. Just like she did back then, her hand slid around Tina’s neck and pulled her in for a searing kiss, lips moving over the blonde’s almost desperately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After so long together, all of their kisses spoke to each other, whether it was the messy, passionate French kiss that inevitably led to something more or a kiss on the forehead after a bad day. They had their own language by now, and it didn’t matter how long it had been since their lips had met, they knew that language by heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This kiss said, <em>“I’m sorry, I love you, please believe that I didn’t know she’d be here.”</em> Slowly but surely, Tina relaxed in Bette’s arms. It took a moment, took her mind slowly recalibrating and listening to what Bette was telling her, but she understood. Of course she did. Bette knew Tina understood her better than anyone. She always had. It was one of the things that scared Bette the most. With Tina, there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. It didn’t matter how many masks she hid beneath, Tina always saw her true face. It was the most intimate kind of knowing someone and it scared Bette to death.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she needed Tina. More than that, she wanted her. She’d coped on her own this past year and a bit. She knew that she’d needed to do some self-reflection, but her life hadn’t felt right without Tina in it every day. It was like there had been a piece missing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette moaned as soon as Tina’s lips parted under hers. She let her tongue tease Tina’s top one before slipping inside, finding the blonde’s tongue and making Tina shiver with sweet caresses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette’s hands found Tina’s hips and she pressed them back against the doorframe. They were both lost in the heat of the moment. Bette’s hand ran down Tina’s leg, hooking it around her own so she could press even closer. Her lips blazed their way along Tina’s neck. She could feel Tina’s pulse through her skin, could sense it matching the roaring in her own ears. She was ready to lose herself in this woman, to prove to her that she loved her and that, if Tina gave her another chance, she would never mess it up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina’s nails curled into Bette’s arms, and the blonde let out the quietest little moan before pushing her back. Feeling the sting of rejection, Bette looked to Tina for answers. As she opened her mouth to demand them, she caught the look on Tina’s face. Eyes dark, pupils wide, chest heaving as she kept herself pressed against the doorframe. Desire. That was what Bette saw in her body: Desire, from head to toe. So then… “What-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bette, you have so much going on right now.” Tina’s voice was a little high, very breathy, like she was still fighting for control of herself. That was what it always was with them, wasn’t it? Control. They were two anxious people who thought if they just had a bit of it, maybe they wouldn’t be so terrified all the time. Maybe, Bette thought, she was getting sick of it. Maybe she wanted to try, even though she had no idea how, to let go, to take a leap of faith for once in her life and pray it worked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tina, it’s nothing I can’t handle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I know that, but…” Tina’s breathing was starting to return to normal, though she still hadn’t moved. It was like she was afraid that going anywhere, even a few feet, would break her resolve. “If we’re going to do this, really do this… I want us to be sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tina, I am-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it feels that way. It does for me too, but I don’t just want to be your port in this storm, Bette. I want to be the place you come home to when the storm clears.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again. “So what are you suggesting, exactly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s just wait until after the election, okay? Can we do that?” Tina’s eyes searched Bette’s, and the brunette felt her heart throb at the earnest pleading she saw in them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course we can,” she murmured, a palm raising to cup Tina’s cheek. Tina leaned into it, her eyes fluttering shut, in a perfect mirror image of what they’d done in the car. “So… that’s not a ‘definitely not’ then? You know, about doing this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Tina insisted, “it’s more of a… ‘Maybe later. Hopefully soon.’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe later, hopefully soon,” Bette repeated, silent for just a beat before smiling and nodding, “I can live with that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if she hadn’t meant it, which she did, the smile on Tina’s face would have made her answer worth it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For so long, Bette had lived in black and white. Things were good or bad, right or wrong, her way or no way, but if anyone were worth living in between for, it was Tina. This? This she could live with, at least for now. “I love you,” she whispered, causing Tina’s smile to grow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I should probably go to bed then, shouldn’t I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you should.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither moved, the two of them still standing, looking into each other’s eyes, breathing the other in. They may have just gotten lost in each other all over again had the toilet from upstairs not flushed, reminding both women they weren’t alone in the house. They looked away, Tina going to get some PJs out of her suitcase. Bette turned, pausing in the doorway. “Good night, Tee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another soft smile graced the blonde’s beautiful face. “Night Bette…See you tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The following morning, Tina found herself at a table at Dana’s with Shane and Alice. Bette had some early morning campaign meeting and told Tina to go without her, which gave Tina the perfect opportunity to get some advice. This was one thing she’d missed about her life in LA. She had friends in New York and Toronto, of course, but it was different. Shane and Alice were family. They knew Tina’s history, what she and Bette had been through. In fact, it wasn’t until that very moment, Tina fully realized how much she’d missed them, and the weight of it hit her so fiercely she nearly burst into tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tina? Hello, Earth to Tina?” Alice waved a hand in front of her face, bringing Tina back to the present. Apparently, she hadn’t been listening to the end of… whatever Alice was saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Sorry. I just… Got distracted.” She could feel Shane looking at her, giving her that knowing look. Shane may have been the youngest of them, but she was also the most attentive. She knew Bette and Tina like the back of her hand and she wasn’t afraid to use it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Penny for your thoughts,” the brunette prompted, causing Tina to sigh. She played with her fingers for a moment before looking up, eyes darting between Shane and Alice before she spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you guys think of Felicity?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d barely asked the question before Alice rolled her eyes. “You mean Bette’s latest fucking disaster? Honestly, I never understood it and I never will, and that’s before you get into the whole… lying to me about it and making me vouch for her on my show thing! I mean… if she’s as in love with Bette as she claims to be, why won’t she stay the hell away from her? She should know how important this campaign is to Bette and she just keeps making it harder!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait… in love? Did she say that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Bette said she did! Pulled this whole sob story out of her ass about how she’d fallen in love with Bette blah blah blah…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alice…” Shane’s voice was pointed as she nodded towards Tina, trying to encourage her to get the message. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alice trailed off, looking between Shane and Tina before catching the look on Tina’s face. “Oh my God Tee, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No no, it’s okay,” Tina insisted, “I mean… I guess it’s nice to know that at least it was someone she loved, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, woah, woah, wait a second. That’s not what I said,” Alice insisted, “I said that Felicity said she loved Bette, not the other way around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you want to know?” Shane’s gaze was still piercing. “They’re not even together anymore anyway, so what does it matter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina sat in silence, jaw clenched, debating whether or not to tell them. She hated feeling this jealous, especially when she and Bette weren’t even together… Or were they? She knew they had to wait until after the election, that she needed Bette to be sure this was what she wanted and not just what she needed to cope with the stress. But damn, if living in between wasn’t killing her. Finally, her eyes met Shane’s and the words came tumbling out. “She was at the house last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shane and Alice both sat forward. “Felicity was?!” Alice shook her head. “Unbelievable! That woman really can’t take a hint!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I just… I never knew that much about her and when I saw her I just… I panicked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Panicked? Why?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina looked up, eyes again shifting from one friend to the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God,” Alice murmured, before letting out a high-pitched squeal. “Oh my God are you guys getting back together?! Are you getting remarried?! Angie must be so excited!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alice, Alice, slow down,” Shane insisted before fixing her gaze on Tina, “are you? Getting back together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina bit her lip. She took one breath, then another. Saying it out loud made it real, made it scary. “I… I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you not know?” Alice shook her head. “Are you together or not, Tina?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s… complicated. We… we had dinner last night and it was amazing and wonderful… and she kissed me in the driveway and I thought… but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But then Felicity showed up,” Shane finished, “Shit.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck Felicity,” Alice insisted, “Bette Porter has exactly one woman she loves more than her own life, and look in a mirror Tina, because that’s her. Even if she had loved Felicity, it wouldn’t hold a candle to what you guys have. It never could.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think?” Tina hated the shake she heard in her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tina, honey, we know,” Shane said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A brief silence as Tina took in her friends’ advice. Bette loved her. Her, and according to Shane and Alice, that hadn’t changed. As she hugged them both goodbye after breakfast, she had one thought on her mind:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The election couldn’t be over soon enough.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tada!</p><p>I'm doing my best to keep Bette and Tina in character while also exploring where they're at as people by the time we get to Gen Q. I think they're at a point where they can set boundaries with each other and respect them. Plus, you know, more build-up that way too ;)</p><p>They seem to have a plan now, but Election Day is fast approaching and who knows how that could change things!</p><p>As I said, I've got a couple of school things coming up, but I'm really excited about the next few chapters so hopefully I'll be able to get them out in a relatively timely manner! As always, feel free to drop a comment if you liked it and let me know your thoughts!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. For the Hope of It All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dani sees Tibette in action. Angie catches her moms in a sweet position, and when Milner releases his attack ad, sparks fly.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone!</p>
<p>Thank you for being patient with these updates! I'm trying to get at least one a week out, but sometimes with school and my chronic illness, it can be hard.</p>
<p>This chapter took me a bit by surprise! I hope you like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bette hadn’t gone into politics until after their divorce. Tina had heard stories from Angie, of course, had listened to their daughter vent about the unique pressures that came with a mother running for mayor. What she hadn’t thought of, until this point, was how moving in with Bette would bring that chaos into her own life as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean Dani wants to meet with me?” Tina looked at her ex-wife with wild, bewildered eyes over her first cup of coffee. Bette shrugged. She was aiming for nonchalance, but Tina could tell she was somewhat embarrassed by the idea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She said it’s something about what happened the other night… at the restaurant.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina deflated. It made sense. She was sure the press was having a field day with the stunt she’d pulled. Reporters didn’t tend to like it when you told them to go fuck themselves. The blonde rubbed at her forehead. This wasn’t her first rodeo in the political arena. The problem was that she’d promised herself that, after her childhood, it was one she’d never return to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette, once again, broke all her rules.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Tina breathed, “whatever you need me to do. I’m more than happy to talk to her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette raised a brow. “Really? I just know with your dad and everything it’s not…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine, Bette, really.” Tina couldn’t help a little smile. “It’s nice you remembered though. I didn’t realize you paid that much attention when I rambled about my family…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette winced. “You really think I didn’t care, didn’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! God no, it’s not that. I just…” Tina flushed slightly and looked down at her feet. “It was just a pleasant surprise you remembered, that’s all. I meant it as a good thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Bette managed, a sheepish grin crossing her features, making her look years younger, “Right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Each of them shifted a bit awkwardly. They stepped forward at the same time, both of them poised to speak when the doorbell rang.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette sighed. “That’s probably Dani.” Giving Tina another smile, she made a hasty retreat towards the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani blustered in as per usual. Watching the girl, Bette couldn’t help but wonder: Had she ever had that much energy? She figured she must have at some point, but watching the way Dani plowed her way into her living room, she certainly didn’t feel like it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s Tina,” the younger woman demanded, brows arched expectantly, “I have to talk to both of you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m right here,” Tina murmured, and Bette couldn’t help but smile as she watched the blonde give Dani a small wave. “Bette said you wanted to meet with me. Is everything all right?” Tina’s eyes followed Dani around the room. There was a certain frenetic energy to her that reminded her of Bette when she was younger. She found it rather endearing. And concerning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… yes and no. I’m sure you both know that the press caught your little dinner the other night…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina sighed. “Look, if this is about my outburst, I’ll make an apology if I have to. The last thing I want is it affecting Bette’s campaign.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tina,” Bette shook her head, “you shouldn’t have to do that. Those reporters were being assholes and you were just trying to stand up for me. You did nothing wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani nodded. “She’s right. Besides, I think if anything, it actually helped us. I came because I wanted to talk strategy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“About?” Tina and Bette asked at the same time. Bette cleared her throat and Tina blushed, but Dani’s grin only widened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well Tina obviously doesn’t have a problem dealing with the press, and despite the way it ended, that dinner helped humanize you, Bette. Like… a lot. If we were to send Tina out on your behalf, it could go a long way to showing a loving, domestic side to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both Tina and Dani were stunned by Bette’s statement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said no, Dani.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bette… I don’t mind. If I can help your campaign, I want to, really.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not what this is about, Tina!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then what is it about? Do you not trust me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I trust you. I don’t want to use you like that, like some sort of… political tool. I know how much you hate having to play that game and I refuse to ask you to do it for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina softened, stepping forward to place calming hands on Bette’s shoulders. Bette hadn’t even realized the frenzy she’d worked herself into until Tina’s touch brought her back to reality. The blonde’s kind smile damn near made her melt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani watched silently, taking in the two of them. She’d heard people talk about Bette’s ex-wife, mentioned her in hushed whispers: the love of their boss’s life that had a way with her that no one else did. It was one thing in theory, though, and quite another to see it in person.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina’s hand slid up to gently cup Bette’s cheek, giving her a reassuring smile. “Really, Bette. I mean it. I want to help you any way I can.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette smiled softly, more softly than Dani knew she was capable of. Her hand rose to cover Tina’s and she slowly shook her head. “No. You’ve sacrificed so much for me already, Tina. You’ve sacrificed enough. I don’t want you to have to do that again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina was obviously taken aback by Bette’s words. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and she tilted her head slightly, silently asking Bette if she was sure. Bette gave the tiniest nod of her head. She was sure. Absolutely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They turned, almost in unison, to look back at Dani. Tina’s hand was clasped firmly in Bette’s as the brunette proclaimed, “No. We’re not using Tina, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani looked between the two, saw the fierce and protective love in both of their eyes. She had never seen Bette like this before (aside from the incident where Tyler Adams had gone after Angie). It wasn’t something she wanted to mess with. So she accepted her fate, nodding solemnly before standing from the couch. “Okay then. I’ll tell everyone to just… carry on then. Unless you changed your mind about pre-empting that attack ad?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette shot Dani a look and the younger woman instantly held up her hands. “Okay, okay. I was just asking!” She looked between Bette and Tina again. She made a mental note to ask Sophie to find out from Alice what the deal was with those two. For now, she took the loss with grace. “Call me if you need anything okay? I’ll go make sure the troops are all doing what they’re supposed to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette let out a sigh, relaxing into the hand Tina had placed on the small of her back. Neither of them realized they were falling back into these patterns. Being there for each other was their natural state. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks Dani.” It was Tina who said it before guiding Bette towards the stairs. Dani watched them go, almost in awe, before shaking her head. She only hoped she and Sohpie would be that in love all those years later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once they reached the top of the stairs, Bette turned to look at Tina, one brow raised as she gave her ex-wife a pointed look. “Where exactly are you taking me, Tee? I’m not an invalid, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh I know,” Tina laughed lightly, and not for the first time, Bette was struck by how much she loved that laugh. “But I also know that you haven’t slept properly in weeks. So I don’t care if I have to tie you to your bed, I’m making you take a nap.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette just stared for a moment, and it was only in catching that stare that Tina realized the implication of her words. Her cheeks flushed and she slid her arms from around Bette’s waist, nudging the bedroom door open. “Hey…” Bette caught her wrist, pulling Tina close enough she could smell her perfume. She knew they’d said they would wait until after the election, but something about being this close to the love of her life dropped all of Bette’s inhibitions, whether she liked it or not. Soulful brown eyes searched the face of the woman she loved as she pulled her hips flush against her own. “I know I can be stubborn sometimes…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina snorted. “Sometimes?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Bette rolled her eyes, a wry smile turning up the corner of her lips, “A lot of the time, but if I’ve learned one thing in all the years I’ve had you in my life, it’s that it’s usually a good idea to listen to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina beamed. “Wait wait, I need to go get my phone so I can record you when you say that again. Just so I have proof it really happened.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know what I mean,” Bette laughed, and soon, Tina was giggling into Bette’s shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God I haven’t laughed like that in a long time,” Tina sighed, eyes rising to meet Bette’s with gentle affection.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette tightened her grip ever so slightly around Tina’s body. “Stay with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bette, we agreed that…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know what we agreed. I’m not asking for anything other than…I just sleep better when you’re here, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina visibly relaxed, and just like she did all those years ago, just before Angie had come into their lives, when Bette was exhausted and already grieving her father and they both just needed to let some stress go, she nodded. “Okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She watched Bette lay down first before tentatively crawling in behind her. For a moment, she held her breath, but then Bette reached behind her and pulled Tina’s arm over her. The blonde felt her inhibitions fade away. She pressed herself against Bette, arm tightening ever so slightly, laying claim in the softest of ways.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve always left that side open,” Bette confessed, playing with Tina’s fingers. She lingered for just a moment on her ring finger, and she felt the ring she kept around her neck practically burning her skin. She wanted to tell Tina about it. She promised herself she would… eventually. For now, she didn’t want to scare her away. For now, she felt more at peace than she had since the day their divorce was finalized. For now, she needed her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette felt her cheeks heat up, and part of her considered not repeating it. The confession had sort of slipped out anyway, courtesy of her impulsive brain. But she didn’t want to lie to Tina. She couldn’t lie to Tina. So she repeated the words quietly, “Your side of the bed… I’ve never had anyone in here because it felt like… Well, I’ve just always thought of that side as yours. I know that sounds stupid but… I guess maybe part of me was holding on to hope…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina felt her heart pound and she pulled Bette a little closer. “You mean that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette turned slightly, brow furrowed. “What? Of course I mean it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And there was that smile again, the one that made Bette’s palms sweat and brain short circuit. And just like that, Tina was pulling her in for a soft kiss. It was sweet, not meant to rile her up, though Tina’s lips against hers always made Bette want her. But she knew now wasn’t the time, so when she returned it, she did so just as sweetly, just as gently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t mean to doubt you,” Tina explained, forehead pressed to Bette’s. “It just caught me off guard a little, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tee…” Bette’s voice was warm but insistent, and when Tina’s eyes flickered up to meet hers, the blonde was shocked by the raw love she saw there. “When are you going to get it through your head that you are the love of my life?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina bit her lip, and in the afternoon light, Bette could see the smattering of freckles across her skin. “Well… I think that’s a very good start.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They smiled at each other, and once again, Tina found herself wishing the election would hurry up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They fell asleep in each other’s arms, Bette’s head nestled against Tina’s chest. It felt warm and safe and natural. It felt like home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Waking up, on the other hand, didn’t have quite the same effect. Tina was vaguely aware of movement and then became all too aware when she realized the source of said movement. Angie was shaking her, her voice barely above a whisper but her tone dire.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom! Mom!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina blinked her eyes open, and she instantly knew something was wrong. She sat up so quickly that it woke Bette, who barely had to look between the two of them to sense the tension. Though Angie angered like Bette, the rest of her emotions she wore more like Tina. They got the same wide-eyed look when they were anxious, and whatever was going on, Angie was anxious now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neither of them even had time to think about the position their daughter had found them in, and once Angie announced what had happened, they weren’t about to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ang, what’s up?” Tina, ever the nurturer, brushed a curl out of Angie’s face. The teenager looked from Tina to Bette and back again before finally letting her eyes settle on Bette.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That asshole you’re running against? He just released an ad attacking you, attacking our family.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bette was on her feet in a second. “Who showed it to you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does it matter?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It does to me! Who showed it to you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It popped up on my news feed! Is that really what you’re worried about right now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay!” Tina’s voice was firm as she stepped between mother and daughter, giving each of them a reprimanding glare in turn. “Whatever is in this ad, we will confront it head-on. We are not going to let it make us start attacking each other, got it?” With Angie and Bette both looking sufficiently chastised, Tina held out her hand. “All right Ang, let’s see the damage.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ad was ugly and homophobic and all of the things Dani had warned Bette it would be. It stung, deeply, and Tina could see the hurt on the faces of the two people she loved most.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bette…” There was a sort of steely ice to Tina’s voice, “you have to let me make a statement.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Absolutely not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I can have half the impact Dani says I can…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tina, I…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Bette! You don’t get to tell me what to do, okay? If I want to go out there and defend my family, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do, and nothing anyone says, including you, is going to stop me, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A wry smile made its way onto Bette’s face, prompting Tina to raise an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was going to say,” Bette chuckled, “I know you’re your own person and that I can’t stop you, but you have done enough for me Tee. I don’t need you to take this on too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bette… I don’t think you realize the effect this ad is going to have on your campaign. The race is so close… If I don’t make a statement, it could cost you the election.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Bette met Tina’s gaze again, gone was the woman she had just been cradling in her arms. This was Bette Porter in fight mode, and Tina had forgotten how intense (and attractive) she was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So be it,” she brunette proclaimed, and that was when Tina knew it was pointless. Not the election, not defending Bette and their family, but fighting falling in love with her. With those three words, without even realizing it, Bette had made Tina’s mind up for her. She wanted this, wanted her, and that statement was enough to make her think they were both in a place where maybe, possibly, it could finally work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And God, did she want it to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” she finally murmured, hand reaching for Bette’s and threading their fingers together. “If you really feel that strongly about it, I won’t do it. But if you think I’m going to play nice with Milner, you are-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tina was cut off as strong arms wrapped around her and hugged her tightly. For a moment, the blonde’s hands hovered in the air, but a moment later, she melted into it. Funny, how Bette was the one under attack and yet she was the one comforting Tina. Maybe things had changed between them after all. Holding Bette a little bit closer, Tina couldn’t help but murmur in her ear. “I just want you to be okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She could feel Bette smile against her cheek and turn ever so slightly to nuzzle into her hair. “I am Tee, I promise.” To Tina’s surprise, she sounded sure. “Right here, right now, I’ve got everything I need.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was originally going to be mostly set up for what comes next, and honestly, there's still a bit of that, but that snuggling in bed scene just kind of happened. One of the joys of being a writer is when the characters surprise you like that! I hope you found it as adorable as I did!</p>
<p>Things are going to start heating up next chapter. It's going to be election time!</p>
<p>Thank you, as always, for your wonderful support. Knowing you like my story is what keeps me writing!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Jump then Fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's officially Election Day and Tina is right by Bette's side, but what happens when things don't exactly go according to plan? Will they be able to weather the storm? Or will that distance come between them again?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiya friends!</p><p>Sorry this chapter took so long. Between my medical shenanigans and it being the last few weeks of the semester, things have been particularly crazy lately, and since so much happens in this one, I wanted to be sure to do it as much justice as I could!</p><p>I hope you like the result!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The sun rose on Election Day with Tina wrapped in Bette’s arms. The blonde let out a soft sigh as she stirred, blinking herself into consciousness. It took her a few seconds to realize where she was and why she was so comfortable, but when she did, the last thing she wanted to do was move. Her fingers reached out to gently trace the skin on the inside of Bette’s arm. Her touch was almost reverent, as if she was making sure Bette was really there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning over, she was surprised to find the brunette’s eyes already open. From the looks of it, they had been for a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Tina murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” came the response, coupled with a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been awake?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette shrugged. “A little bit. I forgot about that adorable way you wrinkle your nose when you sleep.” Tina flushed, hand coming up to cover her nose as if that would help somehow. Bette just laughed. She gently grabbed Tina’s hand and pulled it away. “It’s cute, Tee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina shook her head. “I’ll just have to take your word for it.” The two smiled at each other, and for a moment, they lapsed into a comfortable silence. Their gazes lingered on each other, Tina gently playing with Bette’s hair and Bette’s fingers tracing patterns on Tina’s shoulder. “Are you ready for today,” Tina asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette sighed. “As ready as I’ll ever be I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, whatever happens, I want you to know I’m proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tee…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean it. It took a lot of guts to run for mayor. You knew you could be put through the wringer, but you had a vision and you believed you could make things better. I love you for that. LA should too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if they don’t?” It struck Tina how much Bette looked like a little girl then, brown eyes wide and almost doe-like as she stared back at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina smoothed a stray curl away from Bette’s forehead. “If they don’t, then they’re a bunch of idiots and they don’t deserve you.” And just like that, Bette’s worried vulnerability melted into a smile. Really, that was all Tina wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, no spell can last forever, and theirs was broken by an insistent knock on the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom?” Tina and Bette both sat up at the sound of their daughter’s voice. They had no idea how to explain this, what to tell Angie. They didn’t even have a word for their strange state of in-between. How could they describe it to a teenager? “Mom have you seen T? She wasn’t in the guest room and I’m worried. It’s not like her to just… Oh.” Angie’s brows shot upwards when Bette opened the door. Spotting both her moms together, she had no idea what to say. “Am I interrupting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” both parents blurted out at the same time, though the color on Tina’s cheeks wasn’t helping any.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh-huh. Right.” Angie looked between the two. “Well, I’m glad you’re not dead at least. I’ll um… I’ll see you downstairs, I guess.” The teenager turned and made her way down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina sighed, fingers carding rapidly through her hair. “Shit…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tee, it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it isn’t!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey…” Bette’s hands landed on Tina’s shoulders and squeezed ever so lightly, just enough to remind Tina she was there. “Take a breath, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina did so, letting out a deep sigh followed by a low chuckle. “Well, this is a switch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You… talking </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>down from a panic attack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette smiled, gently kissing the top of Tina’s head. “Yeah well… believe it or not, I can actually be the mature one sometimes.” Tina shot the brunette a look, a single brow raising in disbelief. “Okay,” Bette amended, “I’m not <em>most</em> of the time, but I’ve had to grow up a lot in the past year or so.” Despite the small smile on her face, Bette's eyes were sad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina knew what that meant: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Since we got divorced</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Before she could say anything, Bette squeezed her shoulders again and then turned away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should get downstairs,” she murmured, “Angie clearly wants to talk to you about something, and judging by her face I don’t think I’m invited.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette nodded. “I’ll just take my time getting dressed. Now go. I don’t trust her down there all by herself. She’s probably plotting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well… Like mother, like daughter.” Tina gave Bette a playful smile and one more squeeze to the hand before heading to talk to their daughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angie was sitting on the couch, her leg bouncing rapidly up and down. Tina recognized the nervous tic, a fond smile crossing her face until Angie looked her way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey baby girl,” Tina murmured as she sat next to her daughter, arm coming to drape itself across the back of the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Angie murmured. She picked at her fingernails, wordless until Tina took her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Angie, honey, what’s got you so worried? Is it me and your mom? Because I promise you that… We would never do anything without your being okay with it-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not that,” the teen insisted, “it’s just…” A long pause, as if Angie was about to voice something she shouldn’t. Tina shifted a bit closer, concern running through her. Had something happened at school? With Jordi? Had she and Bette been so wrapped up in each other they hadn’t noticed that something had gone really wrong? “What if she loses?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina had worked herself up into such a frenzy, she had to shake her head to fully snap back to reality. “I… what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“B. What if she loses the election? She doesn’t do well when things don’t go her way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina was stunned into silence for a moment, struck by many things: Angie’s worry, her knowledge of Bette’s true self, not the one she showed to the world, and her compassion. “Oh honey, you don’t… you shouldn’t have to worry about that.” Wrapping Angie in a hug, Tina pulled her into her chest, fingers gently running through the curls of her daughter’s hair. “B’s your mom. It’s her job to take care of you, not the other way around, and she’d tell you the same thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but… You know her better than anyone. Do we say we’re sorry? Do we just not talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina was silent for a moment, trying to think of the kind of answer Angie deserved. She wanted to be honest, but also didn’t want her taking on more than she had to. “Honestly?” Angie nodded eagerly. “We just need to be there for her... To love her as much as we can.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angie arched an eyebrow, and not for the first time, Tina marveled at seeing her face in someone else’s. The mischievous grin though? That was all Bette. “We, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina hadn’t even noticed the slip, but she knew there was no point in pretending, no point in lying to Angie when the teen had seen that something was going on with her own two eyes. So instead, she offered a small shrug. “It’s like you said the other day, I’ve always loved your mom. Whether we’re together or not, that doesn’t change, and it never will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Angie smiled, Tina’s heart beat a little bit faster. Bette had always told her that Angie had her smile, but Tina saw much more of the woman she loved than herself, especially in moments like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A horn honked from outside, prompting Angie to nearly leap from the couch. Tina knew by the spring in her step, it had to be Jordi. “Hey Ang, wait. What about breakfast?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Halfway out the door, Angie called over her shoulder, “I grabbed a protein bar! I’m good!” And then she was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “That girl is <em>so</em> much like her mother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night, there was palpable tension in the air. The race was neck and neck. Just as Bette would get a substantial lead, Milner would win another district. Just when it seemed like she was about to lose, they’d call another race in her favor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina hadn’t left Bette’s side the entire night. She couldn’t remember if Bette had asked her to do that or if she’d just decided to on her own, but she was more than happy to be there. Bette often turned to her as the results came in. When things were going well, she’d give Tina that full smile that lit up her entire face, the one that made her eyes sparkle, the one that ran through Tina from her head to her toes like a bright beam of sunlight. When the news was less favorable, her eyes would dart over to Tina and then look away, as if she felt that by losing a certain district or sector, she was personally disappointing her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina squeezed her arm and gave her a reassuring smile every time she did it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They did this for hours, Tina only stepping away to get each of them some water every now and again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Bette won a district she wasn’t expecting to, the blonde could hardly blink before her ex-wife had wrapped her in a tight hug. She always forgot how strong Bette was, how sturdy and solid she was. She remembered early on in their relationship, thinking that she’d fallen into a fairytale, that she’d found the Prince Charming she’d always wanted. She just so happened to be a princess instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, Tina wasn’t so naive, but that was almost better in a way. Bette had gone from a rogueish Princess Charming to an elegant queen who contained multitudes. Tina was struck suddenly by how much she wanted to get to know those details again, to dive under the surface and discover all the new parts to the love of her life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As these thoughts crossed her mind, she held Bette just the slightest bit closer, breathing in the scent of her hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Bette pulled back a little, she had a small, almost shy smile on her face. Tina had seen it before when Bette had been trying to win her over when things fell apart between them. Bette was good at apologies, really. But this time, she had nothing to apologize for. She was just looking at Tina like that because she could. “Sorry,” the brunette murmured, “just got caught up in the moment I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina shook her head. “You don’t have to apologize.” With that declaration, she linked her arm through Bette’s and gave her a bright, reassuring smile. She felt that strong arm relax a bit and Bette nodded gratefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Tee. I’m… I’m really glad you’re here tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met, and for a moment, Tina thought that Bette might kiss her then and there, but Dani’s voice broke through the crowd. “They’re down to the last district! If we win this… we win the whole thing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette sucked in a breath, and neither of them knew who reached first, but suddenly she and Tina had clasped each other’s hands. She felt her heart hammering in her chest. She realized, sort of all at once, just how much she wanted this. The only thing she wanted more was Tina back, and somehow the two became conflated in her head. After all, being the mayor’s wife would be something… right? She'd have a reason to come back then... right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina’s thumb brushed across Bette’s knuckles, and Bette swore time went still for a moment. How was it that without saying a word, Tina managed to make her feel like it would be okay, no matter what the results were? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their hands tightened as they watched Dani refresh the page over and over. Each time, Bette thought she felt her pulse pick up again. Finally, the results changed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>JEFF MILNER WINS TIGHT ELECTION AGAINST BETTE PORTER!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything around Bette faded away. She couldn’t hear, couldn’t see, could barely breathe. It felt like a punch in the gut in the most literal sense. The hand that wasn’t holding Tina’s came to rest on her stomach as if she could keep all her emotions there where they couldn’t poison the rest of her body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t cry. She knew she couldn’t cry, not just because her entire staff was watching her and she needed to be strong for them, and not just because her daughter was waiting to see how she’d handle defeat, but because this was the job. If you lost, you conceded gracefully and calmly, with a smile on your face. She could scream later, cry later. Right now, she just had to find a way to breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Tina’s hand landed on her cheek, it was like breaking through the surf when you thought you were drowning. Bette took in a ragged breath, brown eyes darting to meet lighter ones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey…” Tina’s voice was soft, warm, and gentle. It was the harbor leading her home. “You deserved better than this. This is exactly why I hate LA.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tee…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s true, you did, and I hope that eventually, you’ll be able to see that, but right now… Right now I just need you to take some deep breaths and tell me how I can help you through this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette could have broken down at Tina’s kindness. It was certainly tempting to just cling to the woman she loved and be reassured that she wasn’t a failure. If it was up to her, she would just take Tina and Angie and gone home where she could bury herself in Tina’s arms and let herself fall apart a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But these things had a protocol that she had to get through first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t…” Bette took a breath. Then another, using the hand Tina was rubbing along her arm to ground herself. “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this concession speech…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would it help if I went out with you and just sort of… stood to the side? Just so you knew I was there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette raised her eyes to Tina’s, brows contorting like she was about to cry. “You’d do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I would. I told you… Whatever you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette could have kissed her, and for a split second, she thought about it. She’d been wanting to do so all night and Tina was right there, her kindness making her glow even brighter than usual, but she knew, much as she hated it, that she had to get through this. Then… Well, then they'd see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She let out a long breath and took Tina's hand in hers. “All right. Let’s get this over with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina nodded, keeping her hand in Bette’s until they reached the stage. Cameras once again flashed in their face, and seeing the sea of people who were there to support Bette, even in defeat, Tina felt herself smile. Bette deserved this, she thought, deserved people finally recognizing how incredible she really was. She was just glad she could be here to see it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For Bette, the speech passed by in a blur. She got out what she had to say, thanked her supporters, and before she knew it, she was hugging Tina again. She let out a ragged breath against the blonde’s shoulder, only holding her closer when she felt her hand smoothing up and down her back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got you,” Tina breathed against her ear, “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Bette felt the tears come. Tina’s support, her warmth, her good nature, made her feel safe enough to let go, to actually let herself feel the hurt that she hid beneath her confident persona. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina’s fingers ran lightly through the few loose curls of Bette’s hair. Neither of them knew how long they stood there, Tina just holding Bette close to her while the brunette let herself cry into her shoulder. Once Bette had gotten it all out, she pulled away, unable to meet Tina’s eyes as she quickly tried to erase all evidence of her tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. That was… I shouldn’t have done that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bette…” Tina’s voice was still kind, but firm, fingers digging into the muscles of Bette’s arm. Hazel eyes blazed with emotion, and Bette knew that whatever Tina was about to say, she meant it with her whole heart. “I’m always going to be here for you. I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>glad</span>
  </em>
  <span> you were able to lean on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No… no ‘but’s. I love you, Bette. No matter what you and I have been through, I have always loved you and I will always be there for you when you need me. I wasn’t… I fucked up with Kit. I should have been there. I can pretend that I had my reasons all I want, but… They weren’t good enough. Please… Just let me be here for you now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A fresh wave of tears hit Bette right in the gut. How lucky was she to know this woman, to get to love her? She felt Tina’s lips brush against her forehead, their fingers tightening around each other’s. “I love you too.” Bette’s voice was barely above a whisper, as if she was afraid to confess it too loudly like that would somehow scare Tina away. “I can’t imagine the mess I’d be right now if you weren’t here…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina smiled sadly. “You might be a mess, but you’d find a way out of it. I know you would.” Taking just a single step back, Tina squeezed her hand. “What do you say we get out of here? I had Alice drop Angie off at Jordi’s for the night. I figured that way you wouldn’t have to pretend for anyone. I know you feel like you have to be strong for her, to set a good example, and even though we both know that’s not true, I wanted you to be able to fall apart as much as you need to when we get home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette smiled sadly. “I just might…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” Tina assured, cupping Bette’s face with her hand, “I’m not going anywhere. Okay?” Bette nodded. “Good." The certainty in Tina's voice made Bette think that maybe, just maybe, they'd be okay. "Then let’s get out of here, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they arrived back at the house, the fatigue finally hit her. She had just managed to collapse on the couch when Tina returned with a glass of wine for each of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, my hero,” Bette proclaimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina chuckled warmly as she settled beside her, nursing her own glass as she tucked her feet under her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette’s head fell back against the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what you’re feeling,” Tina prompted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette let out a long sigh. “I’m feeling… I’m feeling sad, like I let Kit down, like I want to scream, like if I’d just been a better person, I would have won easily… I feel tired. Just… so, so tired, Tee. I’ve been pushing and pushing for so long, I don’t… I have no idea what I’m going to do next.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina’s hand found Bette’s again, fingers linking together and squeezing tightly. “Well... I’m not going anywhere. Maybe I can help you figure it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette looked over in the middle of downing her glass of wine, swallowing hard before clearing her throat and staring at her ex-wife. “Tee… You don’t have to stay for me. I’m not… That’s not your job anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Sitting up slightly, Tina looked at Bette, hurt. “Is that what you think I’ve been doing all this time? Hanging around because I think I have to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bette looked away, and her lack of response was everything Tina needed to know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“<em>Bette</em>…” There was that loving but firm tone to her voice again, the one that made Bette look at her no matter how vulnerable she felt. She felt her eyes lock with Tina’s and was surprised at all the different emotions she saw there: Anger, passion, adoration, frustration. Her name on Tina’s lips was a thousand statements in one, and Bette heard them all as clearly as if Tina had spelled them out for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She took another large sip of her wine, if only to give her an excuse to look away from Tina’s piercing gaze for a moment, but the blonde wasn’t about to let her off the hook that easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bette, look at me.” Slowly, dark eyes slid back to Tina’s. The blonde’s mouth opened slightly as if she was going to say something. For a moment, time stood still between them. When Tina placed her glass down and then slowly reached for Bette’s, the brunette didn’t stop her. Instead, she just kept looking into Tina’s eyes, the eyes that were looking back at her with love and understanding, the eyes that somehow, even now, when she hated herself the most, made her feel like she was worth loving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tina kissed her first this time, but Bette was more than ready for her. She quickly leaned back on the couch, hand falling to Tina’s hip as the blonde settled on top of her. Bette couldn’t remember the last time they’d kissed like this, the slow, passionate kind of making out that made her feel like a teenager all over again. When they’d first started dating, maybe, and they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Or their honeymoon. Either way, these kinds of kisses belonged to the happiest moments of Bette’s life. It was strange to have them happen now. Strange, but more than welcome.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her hands gently ran up and under Tina’s shirt, feeling the warmth of the blonde’s skin as she nipped at Bette’s neck. Letting out a soft sigh, Bette turned her head, giving Tina more room to do whatever she pleased with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To most of the world, Bette Porter insisted she was an alpha. Always in control, always on top. That may have been true for the vast majority of people, but she had always been putty for Tina Kennard. Always. A more devious person would hold that over her, but not Tina, never Tina. Instead, she just kissed her like she was her entire world, finding that particular spot near her clavicle that drove Bette absolutely crazy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tina,” Bette gasped out, nails scratching lightly down her back. The blonde lifted her head and Bette nearly whimpered out loud at the desire she saw there. But the last thing she wanted was Tina regretting this in the morning. So she raised her hand to gently caress her ex-wife’s cheek. “Are you sure about this? You wanted to wait until after the election…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it is after the election.” Tina sounded so sure, so confident. It was a color Bette had only seen a few times on her, but damn if it wasn’t sexy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I just… I’m emotional, you’ve been drinking…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve had like half a glass of wine, Bette. I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>much of a lightweight.” Slowly, Tina took both of Bette’s hands. She threaded their fingers together and then pinned them by Bette’s head on the couch. Bette swore she’d never looked more beautiful, straddling her lap and pinning her hands down, hair slightly wild with the night sky at her back. Tina leaned in close again, lips teasing Bette’s ever so slightly. “I know what I want,” the blonde whispered before kissing her gently, “and I know what to do with it.” Another kiss and Bette couldn’t help but smile against her lips. “Will you let me show that to you? Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met each other’s again, and for a moment Bette let them hover on the precipice. She wanted to enjoy this moment, this final anticipatory experience as they teetered on the edge of the cliff. Then, slowly, she nodded. As Tina kissed her again, she knew that this mattered, that they’d officially jumped off that cliff and they were either going to fly or plummet to their deaths, once and for all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to fly. At long last, she was <em>ready</em> to fly. If she trusted anyone to lift her up like that, it was Tina. And if they fell? Well, what a way to go.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The next chapter WILL be rated E! I'm doing it this way partly so you can skip the sex if it's not your thing and partly because so much had happened already in this chapter.</p><p>As I said, the next little bit is super busy for me, but I will do my best to update as soon as I can!</p><p>As always, your support for this fic and my writing in general is so appreciated. You guys keep me going, really.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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